Turning First Person Into Third
Turning first person into third person is a thankless, hair-tearing task that I would like to never have to do again, if at all possible thank you very much.
I’m editing Angel Flash, the final book in the Summoner’s Mark Series. (Side Note: Pinky Promise, the most recently published book in this series was just nominated for an award. See prior blog post for more info. The first book in the series is Demon Kissed.)
Okay, so back to where I was. I’m editing Angel Flash. My first reader and critique partner, the incomparable Darin Kennedy (check out his books) noted that a section I’d written in first person didn’t work and needed to be written in third person.
What Is the Difference Between First and Third POV
First person, or first-person point of view (POV), is when we are in the character’s head. These are “I” statements and we know their thoughts and feelings.
I threw a fireball at the seven-headed monster gagging at the horrid smell. I should have been worried about my life but I’d have died a happy death if it stopped the stench. I dodged a blast of acidic spit and wondered what they fed these creatures.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t really die so dying wasn’t a viable escape plan. I’d lie there, unable to move, with eau de monster permeating my nose. Besides, a discarded human skull answered the question about the monsters’ culinary preferences, as did a sign warning visitors to ‘Keep all arms and legs away from gate.”
I really didn’t want to be eaten. It was a horrible way to die and my rebirth stung like the dickens.
Third person, or third person point of view is completely different. Not only are we changing “I” statements to “He,” or “She,” or “They,” or the character’s name, we must change the verb tenses.
I threw a fireball at the seven-headed monster becomes Jayden threw the fireball at the seven-headed monster.
Easy, right?
NO. Not easy. Because now we’ve lost the benefit of knowing what that character is thinking, so we must communicate the same things via action or dialogue.
Jayden threw a fireball at the seven-headed monster. “Geez, almighty! This thing stinks,” he said, talking to no one but himself. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. “I wonder what they feed these creatures?”
A sign stating to “Keep all arms and legs away from gate,” partially answered his question, as did the discarded human skull next to the monster’s foot.
“Oh,” said Jayden, dodging the creature’s acidic spit. “Better not ‘die’ down here. I’ll never escape the stench. Besides, being eaten sucks and my rebirth stings something fierce.”
Is One POV Better Than the Other?
One POV is not necessarily better than the other, but one may be better than the other in certain cases. In the case of my manuscript, the Main Character or MC should be the only character in first person. Any chapters featuring other characters should be in third.
I’d decided this long ago in an earlier book and it worked for the series. Darin pointed out that this was the first time I’d written a secondary character in first person. And it didn’t work.
The process of changing these chapters equated to dragging myself over hot coals by my fingertips. It took a week. I swore like a sailor throughout the exercise.
But, it was a good exercise. Sometimes exercise is hard but it is almost always good for us in the long run. Not only did I strengthen the section but I also added words, which got me closer to the total word count for the novel.
Written words are never wasted. We always start at one place and draft, revise, rewrite, and re-do. Writing is a process not a one and done, so don’t worry if you have to make big edits too. Play with POV. See what works best for your story and don’t be afraid to change. Often the difference between a finished novel and an unfinished one is the willingness to drag yourself over literary hot coals by your fingertips. Stick with it and remember that it will all feel better when it’s over. Please feel free, however, to swear like a sailor the entire time.
