Chapter 4: The Greenest Grass—Delilah Dawson
You’ve b
een very open about suffering abuse in your past. What was it that made you want to explore them mind of an anorexic girl suffering under her mother’s influence and the need to be perfect?
Violent Ends is the sort of anthology that demands a close look at oneself and at one’s prejudices. I was bullied in high school, and so my first instinct was to write a kid like I was– geeky, smart, gothy, misunderstood. But other writers were already writing characters like that, so I took the opposite viewpoint. I imagined a character who had everything I didn’t have, back then. Lauren is popular, rich, beautiful, thin. On the surface, she has everything. I wanted to find a reason to pity her as her counterparts in high school never seemed to pity me. I wanted Kirby to pity her. And yet, despite her weaknesses, I wanted her to be rebellious and strong and kind, in her heart.
We learn here that Elsa, mentioned in the first chapter, didn’t die. How and why did you weave this in here? What was important about that?
The writers of Violent Ends shared plot points and character names as we hammered out our entwined stories. When I wrote in Elsa as Lauren’s friend, I didn’t know what another writer might do with her. For me, she represents the cruel and painful randomness of such tragedies. There’s no telling who will live and who will die. Even Kirby didn’t know, in the moment. Just having a name or line, just existing, doesn’t lead to any conclusions. Kirby warns Jenny and Lauren to stay away and offers Zach his gun. He protects them from his own killing spree.
He obviously feels a connection to other people in pain. As well as band girls. Why are we allowed to see this side of Kirby?
A sentiment all the writers share is that Kirby isn’t a sociopath or a born monster. He is a person with ups and downs, friends and foes. He’s conflicted. Until the moment when he steps into that gymnasium, anything could happen. The right word might’ve stopped him. I feel like many of us wrote stories in which we hoped our character would be the one to reach Kirby, to tip his scales toward redemption. Even knowing, as we wrote, what the end result would be, there was still an undercurrent of mercy and kindness, that there was still goodness in Kirby that might be tapped. The overall message, for me, is that if we all worked a little harder to tip that scale toward empathy, kindness, understanding, and bravery, maybe we’d have fewer school shootings.
Chapter 5: Feet First by Margie Gelbwasser
Jenny, another band kid, is the most obviously “saved” person from Kirby’s killing spree. Why does he make such a special effort for her?
What I enjoyed about this chapter is that there was something positive to the ending. We felt that Joe was going to help her and she would be able to move on. Not all the chapters are like that. Why is this one?
Honestly, I don’t know. I think, just like in the tragedy of real mass shootings, we never truly know why the shooter does what he does. When I wrote this story, I understood Jenny and her motivations, but Kirby only came to me in bits and species–through the filter that was Jenny. I think part of Jenny’s struggle is not knowing why Kirby saved her, and that’s also the guilt that eats at her.
What I enjoyed about this chapter is that there was something positive to the ending. We felt that Joe was going to help her and she would be able to move on. Not all the chapters are like that. Why is this one?
Jenny, like the others in the book, suffered. I don’t think she will ever forget Kirby, the shooting, or her pain, but I didn’t want it to define her. She says, “How can someone understand that even though I should feel grateful to be alive, I feel dead?” That’s a very telling statement. I didn’t want her to die that day. She was saved. She may not understand why, but she was. And I wanted her to live and thrive and realize she can survive without Kirby and his feet. She is a strong person in her own right, and as much as she thought Kirby saved her, it was time for her to save herself and realize she could.
