I don’t know how long it’s been since I did a “Three Things” post. Some of them are on this blog, others only on Facebook, so it is hard to catalogue them all. Nevertheless, it feels like I’ve ignored my duty to impart knowledge, so here are three things I learned from my kidney.
Recently I found myself in the emergency room with an enlarged kidney. A large stone caused a blockage and fluid was trapped in the kidney, causing all sorts of havoc. I’ll be fine, but I learned three things.
I shall now bestow my wisdom. *clears throat*
- Kidneys freakin’ matter. We don’t think about them because they toil away quietly, doing what they do automatically, but when something goes wrong, you WILL notice. They’re so important, G-d gave us two. They’re like royals, an heir and a spare.
- Anesthesia makes you funny. Want to excel at stand up? I’ve got the answer! Morphine! (As a side note, when the doctor introduces his “medical translator,” meaning his medical scribe, don’t ask if that is like President Obama’s anger translator. They don’t find it as amusing as you do.)
- Never give away your passport. Speaking of royals, (were we?) if there is one thing we know for sure; we should teach our girls to be knights, not princesses. Growing up and marrying a prince ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be. But the Meghan and Harry story may prove true in one important way. It’s entirely possible that they’ll live happily ever after. However, I think, in this case, the princess may have saved the prince, or at least, they saved each other. Which leads me to this critical piece of advice: Never, ever, give away your passport, driver’s license, and keys.
- Bonus fourth: The smallest gestures count. When I was in the hospital, the lady that cleaned my room left these flowers and note. I appreciated them more than I can say. Thank you hospital workers, each and every one of you.
So, those at the three things I learned from my kidney. Who knew they talked?
If you want to read a prior Three Things posts, click here.
To see Obama’s anger translator, Luther, click here.